


I lost my way (damn near lost my mind)

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Jamie is Henry's right hand man.This has come purely from me wanting Jamie in a three piece suit, nothing more.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 29
Kudos: 277





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Detours by Jordan Davis, listen to it.

Dani knew that _this_ was her last chance. She was running out of money, if she didn't get this job she would run out within the week, then she would have to go home. No, not home, back to _that life._

She couldn't, wouldn't, go back to that. 

She was so far inside her own head that she didn't hear the door open, and almost startled when someone spoke, an accent she hadn't heard here in London before. 

"You must be Danielle Clayton," 

Dani's head whipped up, and she had wanted to smile, offer a hand, but instead she just stared. 

Just gawped at this beautiful woman standing in the doorway, dressed in a three piece, her hair strategically messy in its curls. She looked up from the file in her hand, her charming smile prompting Dani to smile. 

"Hey, hi. Yes, I'm Dani." Dani smiled quickly standing. "I am going to assume you're not Henry?" 

"Of course not, I'm far more handsome." Jamie was sporting a pretty smirk, an eyebrow raised, and  _ that  _ was Dani's first inclination that she was in trouble. 

That this was going to be dangerous and exciting. 

"I bet." Dani said, before she could talk herself out of it. 

And it was worth it, the way Jamie's eyes raked down the length of her, something in her smirk shifting. "Flirting won't get you the job, Love. Might get ya other things, though."

Dani blinked, and Jamie was gone, turning on the balls of her feet and striding inside, leaving Dani to clamber after her. 

"Miss Clayton, I presume." Henry greeted from his spot leaning against the desk. 

Jamie handed him the file, before busying herself with pouring out what Dani assumed was whiskey.

"Please, call me Dani."

Henry lifted his eyes from the file, regarding Dani for a few seconds, before looking down. 

By then Jamie had poured two glasses of Amber liquid, offering one to Dani, but Dani shook her head, and Jamie smirked like she  _ knew  _ Dani was going to turn her down. 

"You don't have any experience as an Au Pair, Miss Clayton."

Dani glanced at Jamie, who was now leaning against the desk by the window, the sun giving her an almost angelic glow, and she was grinning behind her glass, one eyebrow arched at Dani. 

For some reason Dani felt like she was being challenged. 

"That is true, Mr Wingrave, but I have experience teaching a class of twenty students around the age of your youngest." Dani said. 

"Mm," Henry hummed. 

"Ya know, Henry, if we're gonna make this trip you need to have someone hired by tomorrow." Jamie said. "Even if it's just temporary, 'til we're back and can keep lookin'."

Dani almost thought Jamie was on her side before that moment, but then she looked at the woman and she had a little smile, not that sharp smirk, so Dani believed that maybe she really was on her side. 

Henry hummed, "Hannah could watch the children."

"She could," Jamie agreed. "But that's an awful lot of work for one woman, and Owen  _ could  _ help but he will be cooking and has his ma to care for."

Henry lifted his eyes to Jamie. "You think she'll be a good fit?" he asked like Dani wasn't  _ right there _ . 

Jamie eyed Dani, "The kids are hard work." Jamie said, while Henry, apparently, was finished with the interview, handing Jamie the file as she strolled past, taking his place against the desk while Henry went to the drinks corner.

Dani was a little thrown by the sudden proximity, her knees almost knocking Jamie's. "I'm not opposed to a little hard work." she said, and there was something in Jamie's eyes, something in the curve of her lips. 

"Noted," She said with a short nod, and Jamie watched Dani for a few seconds, much like Henry had, but this time Dani felt the incessant need to squirm. "Level with me here, Miss Clayton, why go from a teacher to this? A full time caring job out in the fuck-end middle'a nowhere in England."

"I hardly think that information is required for this position, Miss-" Dani arched an eyebrow at Jamie, questioning. 

"Jamie," She offered, that infuriating little smile on her lips, but now her eyes were twinkling with mirth. She was up to something. 

"Miss Jamie," Dani amended, not missing the tick upward in Jamie's smile. "With all due respect, to both of you, I think I am perfect for this position. Well, better than all the other applicants, how many has that been exactly?"

Jamie's eyebrows raised in surprise, and she turned to Henry, who was staring at Dani with an entirely neutral expression. 

"That'll be all, Miss Clayton."

Dani didn't miss the way Jamie frowned at the dismissal before she left the office, dejected. 

She didn't really have a plan after that, she was running out of money, this was her last shot, so she went to the bar to spend what little she had left on a beer before calling her mother to ask for money for a plane ticket when Henry Wingrave came strolling in. 

They talked, they drank, Dani got herself a new job. 

She was told a man called Owen would be picking her up, so she was pleasantly surprised when Jamie pulled up in a beautiful Aston Martin, getting out of the car with a smile. She was, again, in a three piece suit, chain from a pocket watch hanging against her right hip. Her hair was pinned back, with one single curl falling loose. 

Dani was immediately enamoured. 

"Again, you don't look like an Owen." Dani said as Jamie moved to stand by her, probably slightly too close than was acceptable. 

"Again," Jamie started, one corner of her mouth hooked upward as she slid her hand into the top handle of Dani's rucksack, the handle Dani was  _ still holding _ . Her hand slipped over the back of Dani's, eye contact not wavering, and Dani felt like she was on fire, letting the bag slip from her fingers out of shock, mostly, unsure of what Jamie was doing. "I'm far more handsome."

"I can believe it," 

  
  


This smirk was different, both corners of her mouth hooked up, head tilted slightly like she was assessing Dani. Then she opened the door for Dani to take a seat behind the passenger side, giving a little bow, offering up a hand. "Miss Clayton," 

Dani honest to god blushed as she slipped her hand into Jamie's and sat down. The hand was entirely pointless, but Dani didn't care. Jamie placed the bag in the boot before getting in.

"How are you?" Jamie asked as she turned the key. 

"Good, better than I was when I left last time I saw you."

"Mm, I was going to talk to Henry. Turns out I didn't need ta, you blew him away with whatever went down in that pub." Jamie glanced at Dani in the rear view before peeling away from the pavement. 

"I think we came to understand each other a little better." Dani said, resting her chin on the side of the seat. 

Jamie whistled. "Rather you than me, Miss Clayton."

"Call me Dani, please." Dani requested, and Jamie met her eye briefly. 

"No problem." Jamie agreed. "Where ya from, Dani please?" 

Dani couldn't not laugh at the lame joke, had it been anyone else making it she most likely wouldn't have. "Are you one of the children?" 

Jamie chuckled, and Dani could see the edge of her pretty smile. She stared, Jamie was watching the road, she would never know. "Don't expect that kinda attitude from someone with such a pretty face."

Dani felt her ears heat up at the compliment. "I'm finding myself deviating from people's expectations of me."

"Well, Miss Clayton, I'm looking forward to being surprised." 

Dani watched Jamie smile, glancing in the mirror to see Jamie watching her in the mirror. 

"Yeah, I reckon you're gonna be trouble, Poppins."

Dani found herself smiling coyly at that, leaning back against the seat, head tilted back. 

"Relax," Jamie said, messing around with the radio until soft music was quietly playing through the car. "It's a fair drive."

Dani didn't mean to fall asleep, but the past few weeks have been stressful, and the hostel she was staying in was hardly quiet. 

She was out cold until she felt a soft squeeze on her knee. She startled awake, that same dread she felt every morning settling heavy in her stomach, but then she blinked away the bleariness to see Jamie smiling at her, eyebrows raised. 

"You're cute, but you'll get a kink in your neck." She said, and that dread melted away a little. "Come on, shift it, time to meet the gremlins."

Jamie hopped out, rounding the car to grab Dani's bag from the boot, and Dani got out, staring up at the huge house. 

"It's bigger on the insides," Jamie said, coming up alongside Dani. 

There was something in her smile that told Dani that was a joke, but Dani didn't get it. 

"It's from a show, never mind." Jamie waved her off. 

Before Dani said something stupid like 'maybe you should show me sometime' the doors opened and a little girl came running out. 

"Miss Jamie!" She called throwing herself at Jamie, who scrambled to get a grip on her with her one free hand.

"Hello, Petal." Jamie said, fixing Flora against her hip, still clutching Dani's bag. 

Flora gasped, hand outstretched to Dani. "You must be Miss Clayton!"

"Good guess," Dani smiled, shaking her hand. 

"Not a guess. Miss Jamie said you were blonde, and super pretty," Dani smiled at that, head tilted curiously. "Oh, and you had a pretty smile."

"Aren't you a little wingman," Jamie murmured, dropping Flora on her feet. "I said you were blonde. Not that you aren't super pretty, and you do have a pretty smile, but that was a Flora ad-lib."

Flora didn't seem phased by Jamie's glare, smiling sweetly up at Dani. "I'm Flora," 

"Not petal?" Dani asked, crouching down in front of Flora. 

"No. Miss Jamie calls me that because my name means flower, and flowers have petals." Flora explained

"Ah, of course." Dani nodded. 

"Can I show Dani around, Miss Jamie?" Flora bounced on her toes, turning to Jamie, and when Dani looked at her again her mind went blank. 

Jamie was leaning against the shiny Aston Martin, legs crossed lazily, one hand in her pocket, the other holding a cigarette to her lips. She was already watching Dani, a slow smirk pulling on her lips when Dani looked up. 

"Those are bad for you," Flora said with a scrunched up nose. 

"Yeah? So are kids." Jamie shot back, making Flora gasp. 

"You said I was your  _ favourite  _ pain in the -" 

"Butt," Jamie cut in, before Flora repeated her exact words.

"Butt, yes. She definitely said butt." Flora nodded, turning back to Dani with the cute smile. 

"Show Miss Clayton around is ya like, kiddo, I got packin' to do, anyway." 

"You're not staying?" Dani frowned as she stood, Flora snagging her hand and began dragging her away slowly. 

"Sorry to disappoint, Poppins, but I've gotta be at the airport in-" Jamie glanced at her watch. "Three hours. And I haven't even packed."

"Oh, okay," 

"You got your hands full, anyway, wouldn't want me hovering around." 

"I'm not so sure," Dani said, throwing a little smile over her shoulder before turning and falling into step with Flora. 

She glanced back at Jamie before she and Flora rounded the corner to see her still watching her, blowing smoke from her lungs as she grinned at Dani. 

This should feel dangerous. 

Instead it just feels natural.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments guys! I'm unsure how long I will make this, but I hope you enjoy.

Her first few days at Bly were a blur of playing with the kids, getting lost, wandering the grounds and getting to know Hannah and Owen.

She wondered about Jamie often, if she stopped by often, Flora certainly seemed close to her. 

She brought her up once over the first week. Well, technically Flora brought her up after mentioning her in passing. 

"How often does Jamie drop by?" 

Flora shrugged, defeated, a sad look coming across her face. "Not as much as she used to. Very busy with Uncle Henry." 

Jamie came by on the eight day. 

Dani was upstairs when she heard the door open, and Flora was giggling. 

Dani frowned, pulling on her wooly jumper and heading for the top of the stairs. 

She couldn't not smile at the sight of Jamie, dressed like she always was, but this suit was a pretty purple tartan, she was kneeling in front of Flora, holding up a flower up to Flora. 

"This," She started, giving the flower a sniff. "Is a freesia flower. It means innocences and thoughtfulness."

Jamie booped Flora on the nose with the flower, making Flora giggle again, accepting the flower. "Thank you, Miss Jamie." 

Jamie nodded, glancing up toward the stairs, doing a double take when she noticed Dani standing there. She smiled, and Dani took that as her cue to head down.

"Miss Clayton," Jamie greeted, straightening as Dani reached them. She pulled another flower from behind her back, a red camellia. "For you." 

That surprised Dani so much she almost gasped, tentatively taking the flower as she stared down at it with a little frown. 

"Thank you, Jamie." She whispered, and when she looked up at Jamie she was watching her with a curious head tilt. 

"Look at mine, Miss Clayton." Flora held up the flower, ans, honestly, Dani was thankful for the distraction, because she wasn't sure she could have pulled her eyes away from Jamie on her own. 

"That's beautiful, Flora. Jamie clearly has great taste in flowers." Dani said, bringing the flower to her nose, peering at Jamie over it. 

Jamie smiled a reserved little smile, both hands in the pockets of her suit trousers, rocking into her toes. "Are you here for long, Miss Jamie?" 

"Just for today, Flora." She said. "Here on strict business."

Dani hated the little frown that appeared on Flora's brow then. "Oh."

"Strict business to help young Lady Wingrave with her garden." Jamie said with a little smile, hands clasped behind her back, head tilted. Dani was so charmed by this woman that all she could do was stare with what was probably a dopey looking smile. "If Miss Clayton allows, I would like to take the little gremlins to tend to the garden."

"Of course," Dani agreed, and Flora squealed, running off to find Miles. 

"It's their little pet project, for their parents." Jamie explained as they watched Flora run off. "A whole bunch of their Ma's favourite flowers, turns out they are difficult to tend to when you're a kid."

"That's really sweet, that you help them." Dani said, bringing Jamie's attention back to her. 

Jamie shrugged, "It's calming to me, gardening. I enjoy my job, but it's kinda stressful, it's nice to just relax, be out in nature." 

"I suppose you getting to work with the kids isn't a plus side?" 

"Oh, god no." Jamie shook her head, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "They are just awful."

"Positively so," Dani played along, a slow smile pulling on Jamie's lips. 

"Well, they know where to find me, and I need to change, this is hardly gardening attire."

Dani let her eyes run the length of Jamie, looking far more handsome than any man Dani had ever come across.

"No," Dani agreed. "Will you be staying for dinner? I can let Owen know."

"If it's not too much trouble," 

Dani nodded. "And thank you, again. For the flower."

Jamie dipped her head. "Plenty more where that came from, Poppins."

Dani spent the morning a little restless without the distraction of the kids, it was giving her too much time to think. 

Thinking was not what Dani needed right now.

So, at lunch time, she headed outside with two mugs of tea, two glasses of lemonade, and a few snacks for the kids and Jamie, before taking the short walk to the flower beds. 

And there was Jamie, crouched down over a flower bed. She was dressed in overalls, dirt smeared on her face, and the kids were just staring at Jamie as she spoke, nodding every so often. 

Dani, of course, knew of her attraction to women, and she was aware women were far more attractive than men, but that attraction had never been like this. Never this intense, never enough to cause this burning in her chest. 

She set the food and drinks down on the table, taking a seat as she watched them work. 

Miles was the first to notice her, that big smile pulling on his lips as he waved, prompting Jamie and Flora to look over. 

Dani felt this odd sensation settle in her chest at the sight of these three smiling over at her. 

Jamie said something to the kids before getting up, heading over to Dani. 

"How's it going?" Dani nodded toward the kids. 

"They're getting slightly better," Jamie said, rubbing her left cheek bone, smearing dirt there. 

It shouldn't be attractive, not really. But there was a difference in Jamie here, that prim and proper attitude gone. 

"I kinda think they're pretending, I know they're not stupid." Jamie shrugged. "But if they can't do it-" Jamie trailed off with a shrug. 

"You need to keep coming back." Dani said, a sad little frown on her brow as she looked over at the kids, giggling as they flicked dirt at each other. 

"I know it probably didn't look like it but I was on your side in that interview." Jamie said, bringing Dani's attention back to her, surprised by the sudden statement.

"You were?" 

Jamie nodded, motioning to the kids. "Those kids are amazin', even after everythin' they've been through, shit that can make a person rotten. But they need someone there, someone constantly, someone who can fight away that rot." Jamie said, glancing at Dani before turning back to the kids. "I dunno what to tell ya, Dani, other than something in my gut told me that was you. You can give these kids the stability they need."

The honesty surprised Dani, so all she did was blink at Jamie, mouth open like a total dumbass, but Jamie just chuckled. 

"Just sayin'," Jamie shrugged. "I'm glad your here, Clayton."

"Me too," Dani smiled, resting her elbows on her table. 

And Jamie smiled right back, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her overalls, her boot scuffing the ground as she nudged her head back toward the kids. "We'll just finish up this section and be right over."

"No problem. You mind if I hang out?" 

"Not at all, Miss Clayton." 

Dani tried to pretend to be more interested in what the kids were up to then how pretty Jamie was, laughing along with the kids, her face filthy and her hair messy. 

Then the kids came thundering over, immediately tucking into their sandwiches and lemonade. 

Jamie strolled over, taking a seat beside Dani. "How's your first week been?" she asked, the kids distracted with teasing each other. 

"Pretty great," Dani nodded. "The kids are amazing, Hannah and Owen are incredibly welcoming."

"Yeah, nicest you'll ever meet, those two." Jamie nodded. "I'm glad you're settlin' in okay, I've always found the house a little too loud, in a weird sense."

"I can understand that, sometimes I feel like that, so I go outside." Dani motioned to the garden. "It's kind of beautiful out here." 

"Yeah," Jamie hummed. "Yeah, I guess--the house just feels heavy, after lady and lord Wingrave."

"Were you close?" 

"They caught me steal from'em and instead of calling the cops they gave me a job and a place to stay." Jamie chuckled, shaking her head. "They were good people, kind. And I reckon, if they could choose someone to care for their kids, it'd be someone like you, Clayton."

Dani's eyebrows raised in surprise, touched by the compliment. "Thank you."

Jamie nodded. "I'm complimenting you so it doesn't sting too much when I tell ya your tea's shit."

A surprised little laugh escaped her lips at that, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

Jamie was smiling at her. "You'll get the hang of it, Poppins."

Dani left them to it, flushing at the wink and smile Jamie sent her way while the kids waved. 

Dani distracted herself with coming up with fun lesson plans for the kids. She got so into it that she didn't hear Owen call that dinner was ready. 

She jumped at the sharp knock on the door, turning to see Jamie leaning against it, arms crossed. 

"You actively ignoring Owen or you just too into that?" 

Dani blinked, then rubbed her eyes, frowning at the dark windows. "Sorry, I didn't realise it got so late."

"Yeah, I peeked in earlier and you seemed really into it, so I left you." Jamie nudged her head toward the kitchen. "Kids are already washed up and in there, we're just waiting on you, Clayton." 

"Right," Dani nodded, closing her notebook and quickly standing. 

"What're you up to, anyway?" 

"Lesson plans for the kids." Dani held up the book. "Trying to make it a little more fun."

"Tough feat, making school fun." 

"Learning is fun, people enjoy learning, but the school setting it's just so strict, so against a kid's instincts to have fun and be curious. Learn what you're told, follow the curriculum, it's so regimented, so kids act out against it." Dani said. "If it's fun, it won't feel like a chore."

Jamie nodded, a little smile on her lips. "Well, I sure wish I had you as a teacher when I was a kid." Jamie said. "Though, I might not have been able to concentrate anyway."

"I know the feeling," Dani replied, her eyes flickering the length of Jamie.

"Are all Americans this brazen?" 

Dani just flashed a little smile, walking past Jamie toward the kitchen. 

Dinner was nice, Jamie brought a certain playful air to the room, similar to the way Owen does, but Dani can only explain the difference as Jamie's being ever so slightly chaotic. 

And Dani could tell the kids enjoyed having Jamie around, enjoying the way her and Owen seemed to bounce off one and other. 

It dawned on Dani then what this was, what she was intruding on. 

Family. 

Dani could feel it, the niggling at the back of her head telling her that she shouldn't be here, that she was intruding. She could feel herself start to spiral, then Jamie's voice cut right through that haze, grounding her again. 

"What about you, Poppins?" 

Dani blinked, glancing around the table to see everyone staring at her. 

"Sorry? What about me?" 

"Lemon or Chocolate cake?" Flora asked excitedly. 

"Uh," Dani hummed thoughtfully. "Lemon, I think."

Flora cheered and Miles stuck his tongue out at her, and Dani turned back to Jamie, who was watching her with a little smile. She didn't look away, but her smile softened, her fingers rubbing her ear. 

Dani felt herself relax, the worries she had a few seconds prior melting away completely. 

Jamie was still around when Dani took the kids upstairs to get ready for bed, she hadn't expected her to still be around when she was finished. But then she walked past the living room, back tracking when it clicked with her that someone was in there. 

Jamie was standing by the window, peering outside into the darkness, rain pelting the window. She was dressed in her suit again, no signs at all that she had been doing any hard labour. She had a hand tucked into her pocket, the other clutching her glass. 

"I thought you would have been gone by now," Dani commented softly, so not to startle Jamie. 

"Me too," Jamie hummed, taking a drink of her scotch. "Kids asleep?" 

"Both out as soon as their heads hit the pillows, you tired them out." Dani said, moving to stand against the wall on the opposite side of the window. "Should you be drinking that if you're going home tonight?" 

"I'm not far, half an hour max."

"The weather is crap," Dani pointed out, and Jamie smiled, moving a little closer, resting her hip against the sil. 

"Go on, just ask me." Jamie baited, chin tilted upward

Dani squared her shoulders, never one to back down from a challenge. "Stay?" Dani requested, eyebrows raised, her face, hopefully, school in a nonchalant expression. "It's not safe for you to drive this late, in the rain." 

"That's the only reason you want me to stay?" Jamie asked, but her cheeky little grin told Dani she could see right through the excuse. 

"Of course, why else would I want you to stay?" 

Jamie chuckled at the teasing, head ducked, and she fished out her cigarettes and lighter. There was something about Jamie, something Dani had noticed from the beginning. She was charming. 

No, just charming didn't seem right for Jamie. 

There was something more about Jamie, something so James Dean-esqu, _roguishly_ _charming_ , even now, with Jamie dressed in that perfectly tailored suit, hair perfectly curled, but of course there was that one strand out of place, and she had her hands tucked in her pockets, cigarette dangling from her lips. 

For every perfection there was an imperfection, and Dani loved it.

"You alright, Poppins?" Jamie asked, eyebrow arched questioningly. 

"I-Yes. Yeah, I'm good." Dani nodded. "So, you'll stay?" 

"I honestly hadn't planned on leaving, got clothes in my car 'cause I thought there was a storm comin'." Jamie smirked, her eyes twinkling as Dani glared teasingly at her. "But I'm glad I'm not putting you out, Miss Clayton."

Yeah, roguishly charming fit just right. 

\--

They drank wine in the family room with Owen and Hannah, and it was nice, Dani had never really experienced this with adults. 

She didn't have friends, Eddie had friends, Dani was just there. 

But this, this felt comfortable, this felt nautral. 

Owen ushered Hannah to bed a little before midnight before going to a separate room to sleep, leaving Dani and Jamie, tucked under blankets on the two seater, the mix of the sound of the fire crackling, and the sound of the rain filling the silence. 

"So, where'd you come from, Poppins?" Jamie asked, her eyes not leaving the popping wood. 

"Kansas, a small town called Axtell."

"How small?" 

"Four hundred people, roughly." Dani said and Jamie whistled. "Yeah, right by the great American Bible belt."

"Shit," Jamie said, turning her body toward Dani. "That must've been tough."

Dani nodded, lifting her eyes to peer up at Jamie, trying to figure out whatever was going through her head. "I think you know why." 

"Yeah. And I get it, in a sense, thankfully I didn't spent a lot of time in small towns until I met the Wingrave's when I was sixteen." Jamie said, her arm running the length of the back of the sofa, her finger tips tentatively touching Dani's shoulder. And Dani felt herself relax back against the cushion, toward Jamie's hand. "I do understand that anxiety though, but here, at least in this Manor, you get to be you. Unapologetically, no judgement. Just Danielle Clayton."

"Dani Clayton." Dani corrected, because Danielle Clayton was who she was before, Dani felt different, felt new, freeier. 

"Dani Clayton," Jamie amended. "And getting to see Dani Clayton being unapologetically herself? Well, that's something I'm excited to see."

Dani smiled down at her glass, "Thank you, Jamie."

Jamie gave Dani's shoulder a tap before settling her hand on the back of the sofa, taking a drink. 

"So, what do you do? Other than work for Wingrave?" Dani asked. 

"I garden," Jamie said. "I live in the little cottage you pass on the way here, or, at least, I own it, I spend every night in London, usually. In my downtime I go there or here, do some gardening."

Dani nodded. "The garden here is beautiful," 

"A lot of it isn't me anymore, I did a lot of the landscaping, but now someone else tends to it, since I started working with Henry."

"Do you enjoy it?" 

"Most of the time," Jamie hummed, her head resting against her knuckles. "But there are times I wish I could go back to being the gardener here."

"It does sound quite quaint."

"And quaint is lovely, but I think I'm too restless for that, with how I grew up, I'm used to the excitement of a not so quaint life."

"So, you done your time in the country, but had to go back to the bustle of the city?" 

"Pretty must," Jamie nodded. "What about you? You're a long ways from home."

"I had to get out of that town, it was suffocating, especially after-" Dani clammed up then, and Jamie frowned, her head tilted as her hand fell to the back of the sofa, fingers tickling the skin just above Dani's sweater. 

"After?" she prompted gently, and Dani knew all she had to do was shake her head and Jamie would drop it, probably make a joke then everything would be back to normal. But Dani wanted to tell her. 

"I was engaged, and he died." Dani admitted with a sad smile. 

"Fuck, Dani. I'm sorry." Jamie squeezed her shoulder this time, I'm here for you. 

"We'd just broken up, I had just broken his heart by calling off the engagement and telling him… the reason why. He got out of the car, I saw the heartbreak in his eyes, then he looked away and it was just headlights in his glasses and-" Dani shook her head quickly, lips pressed together. "If I didn't tell him, if I just stuck it out-" 

"You would still be suffocating." Jamie cut in. "Why would ya put your happiness after other people's? What happened isn't on you, Dani. You shouldn't take that on, not on what's ifs."

"It's just hard," Dani all but gasped. "I wasn't in love with him but I did love him, he was my best friend, and I lost that, too."

Jamie nodded, her thumb rubbing calming circles on Jamie's shoulder. "And you get to grieve. Just because we weren't who you used to be to each other, or were in a fight, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to grieve." Jamie said. "And if he was your best friend, he must've been a decent fella, he wouldn't want you shouldering any guilt." 

"Yeah, I know," Dani sniffed, then laughed pathetically. "Sorry."

"No need," Jamie shook her head. "I gotta say, though, I admire ya, you're still standin' after all that shit."

"Barely," Dani huffed. 

"Barely's enough." Jamie said. 

Dani smiled tearfully, her eyelids fluttering when Jamie used the pad of her thumb to dry her cheeks. 

"Barely is more than enough, _you_ are more than good enough." 

That visibly startled Dani, and Jamie almost snatched her hand back, then there was a little sniff from the door, catching both of their attention. 

"Flora, sweetie," Dani sniffed, wiping her face, quickly trying to pull herself together. 

Jamie offered a little smile, before turning to Flora, arms outstretched. "You alright, Petal?" 

Flora nodded, rubbing her eyes as she padded closer, clambering up into Jamie's arms. "Bad dream," Flora murmured, tucking herself into Jamie. 

"Well, how about we go heat up this lovely blanket of yours, wrap you up snug as a bug, and come back here to cuddle up on the sofa, you can tell me all about it."

"Yes, please." Flora sounded so small, and Jamie scooped her up, holding her tight against her. Then she glanced back to Dani, giving her a little wink and a smile before disappearing. 

Dani took the break to calm herself down and fix herself. 

Jamie came back in ten minutes later with Flora wrapped up in the fuzzy blanket. She took a seat beside Dani, and Flora reached out to touch Dani's hand. 

"You doing okay, sweetheart?" Dani asked, giving Flora's hand a little squeeze. 

Flora nodded sleepily. 

"Why don't ya tell us about it? Gettin' it out to other people will help ya share the load."

"It was about my mummy and daddy." Flora murmured against Jamie's neck, and Dani felt her heart break for the little girl. "They were on a boat, and mummy was screaming but I can't swim so I couldn't help, and then daddy disappeared under the water, but I got his hand and pulled so hard. But it wasn't him that came back up."

Jamie peered at Dani over Flora's head, holding the young girl tight against her chest, rubbing her back in calming circles on her back.

"You know, when I was your age I used to have this one dream, it happened once a month for years, and it used to make me so afraid that I would sit in the corner of my room all night so it couldn't get me." Dani said, moving a little closer, rubbing Flora's leg. "Then I decided to re-write the ending of that dream. Every night before I want to bed I would either imagine or write down a different ending to that dream, and after a while it started to stick."

"What was your dream about?" Flora asked. 

"How about I tell you in the morning?" Dani offered, and Flora nodded, cuddling in closer to Jamie. 

And Jamie, who had been quiet for the past few minutes, was staring at Dani, sweet smile, and soft, sleepy eyes. 

Flora was lulled back to sleep in minutes, her soft little snores making Jamie and Dani chuckle. 

"She seems really comfortable with you, both of the kids do. Do you come by often?" 

"Not so much anymore," Jamie said. "I used to spend every day here, back when I was the gardener."

Then Jamie sighed, shaking her head. 

"These kids lost so much so quickly." She said, looking down at the sleeping child in her arms. "First their parents, which resulted in them losing their uncle Henry, 'cause he doesn't come by anymore. Then they lost Peter Quint -not that that was a huge loss, I'm almost glad that he won't the male figure Miles will be lookin' up ta- and Rebecca Jessel."

"Then you," Dani added. 

Jamie nodded slowly. "Then me."

"They are such great kids."

"They really are." Jamie agreed, chuckling. "I tried to ignore'em, I even told Miles I'd end'im once, because he was being a brat, but they worm their way under your skin, you can't not love'em."

"Yeah," 

"And they love you," Jamie said with a little smile. "You should've heard'em today, gushing about you like your the best thing to grace this obnoxiously huge manor."

"Definitely not that," Dani laughed. 

"I dunno, I think for them you just might be."

Jamie carried Flora to her bed an hour or so later, allowing Dani to tuck Flora in. 

"Where are you sleeping?" Dani asked quietly as she slowly clicked Flora's door closed. 

"Two down from Hannah," Jamie nudged her head down the hallway to her left. "G'night, Poppins."

Dani nodded, because, yeah, it was well past their bedtimes, but Dani didn't want to leave, to let whatever air it was around them right now dissipate. "Okay, yeah. Goodnight, Jamie."

"You not want go to bed?" Jamie arched an eyebrow, hands in pockets as she leaned her shoulder against the wall just in front of Dani, legs crossed. 

"I mean, we probably should." Dani reasoned. 

" _Should_ ," Jamie repeated with a nod, head tilted, an almost challenging little smirk on her lips. "But what do you want?" 

God. Roguishly charming. 

"I would ask you to take me on an adventure around the grounds somewhere, but it's raining."

"Another night then," Jamie promised, and Dani smiled, ducking her head bashfully. "G'night, Dani Clayton."

Dani peered at Jamie through her eyelashes. "Goodnight, Jamie Taylor."

Dani felt lighter than she ever had when she fell asleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thing!
> 
> Thatoneloser-kid.Tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, finally. Sorry for the wait, guys! And thank you, for all the kind words a kudos!

For someone who apparently wasn't around a lot Jamie sure was at the manor a lot.

And when she wasn't around she as all Dani thought about. Dani scolded herself for that, she wasn't a teenager, she had kids in her care. 

Yet, here she was, in a daze, chin in her palm as the kids did school work quietly. 

Jamie hadn't spent the night since that first night a month and. A half pago, but she had been by at least twice a week ("We've been seeing a lot of you, Jamie." Owen had commented with a little grin one day over dinner. And Jamie shrugged easily, glass of wine part way to her lips. "Can't get enough'a your handsome mug, Owen."). 

And it was nice, to have a girl flirt with her like this, so openly, so unapologetically, but it was mostly nice having a friend who wasn't either eleven years old or one of Eddie's friends. 

And that's what Jamie was. 

Sure, Dani had a glaringly obvious crush on her, and she was almost sure Jamie felt the same, but first and foremost she was a friend. Comforting Dani during her panic attacks no questions asked, and listening to Dani's drunk ramblings about her home life. 

And Dani done the same for Jamie, listening to her bitch about her day, or talking about her childhood (though Dani had very little information, she knew it was rough), or talking about her parents and brothers. 

"You little gremlins could get up to anythin' and Miss Clayton would have no idea." Dani jumped at the sudden voice, blinking away the haze to see Jamie standing in the doorway, arms behind her back. Her suit jacket was off, her tie loosened and the top few buttons, her sleeves rolled up. 

She still had her waistcoat on, her hair a undone in cute little curls, socks with daisies on them. She was beautiful but she looked beat. 

Both kids were out of their seats in a heartbeat to hug Jamie, who pulled two lollypops from being her back, holding them out to each of the kids. 

"Did you guys finish what you were doing?" Dani asked, standing to lean against the desk, not missing the way Jamie's eyes ran the length of her. She wasn't stupid, she had seen it working in the school, too. People had a thing for teachers. 

"Yes, Miss Clayton." both children answered and Dani nodded. 

"I heard Owen say somethin' about cookies," Jamie frowned, pretending to think. "Something about then being ready and still hot, or whatever."

Both Miles and Flora looked at each other, before looking at Dani, who chuckled, and nodded, both kids taking off running. 

"Anything for cookies," Jamie tsked, strolling closer to Dani. 

"Gotta say, I agree with them, there's not a lot that can top warm cookies."

"Not even a walk about the grounds with an unbelievably charming ex gardener?" Jamie cocked her head, presenting Dani with a Amaryllis, and Dani accepted it with a smile and a blush. 

This hadn't been the first time Jamie had brought her flowers. There had been that one that first night, but even night Jamie stopped by she had a new flower; a lilly, a stock, carnation, Iris, hydrangea, gladiolus, Heather. 

Dani knew flowers had meanings behind them, and she found a vague book about that in the library, but that was about all the information she had, and she wasn't about to ask Jamie, not yet. 

"It's beautiful, thank you." Dani smiled as she smelled the flower. 

"What'd you say, Poppins? Walk with me? Owen is making lunch so we can eat when we get back." Jamie's eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Okay," Dani agreed, and Jamie smiled, nudging her head toward the door, hands stuffed in the pockets of her suit trousers as she rocked nervously on her feet. 

"Shall we?" 

The kids, and Owen and Hannah, waved at them as they walked past the kitchen to get out the back door. 

"I wanna show you something kinda grim," 

"Grim how?" Dani frowned.

Jamie ignored the question completely. "I think it'll be good to see the beauty that can come from something awful."

Dani didn't bother asking again, knowing Jamie didn't want to tell her anyway, so they walked in silence, enjoying the sun and the quiet. 

Then they came to a set of gates, ivy wound around them, but they were well maintained. 

Jamie opened the gate and motioned inside. 

The area was beautiful, gated off and littered with beautiful flowers, and in the middle toward the back was a beautiful stone building intricately carved, so well cared for that Dani could be told it was built yesterday and she would believe it. 

"What is this place?" 

"Mausoleum," Jamie said. "This is the part of the garden I still care for."

"The Wingrave's?" 

"Not technically, their bodies never came home, but yeah, symbolically  _ this  _ is where we buried them." Jamie nodded. "And it's where the generations before them were buried here, too."

"It's beautiful," 

"It's all their favourite flowers," Jamie said, hands still buried deep in her pockets, and there was something off about her, but Dani couldn't quite put her finger on it. "It's comin' up to their anniversary, Clayton, I think you should know that, in case the kids start acting off."

"Yeah, that's good to know." Dani said, placing a hand on Jamie's bicep, squeezing. "How are you doing?" 

Jamie nodded. "I'm tryin' to keep Henry aflot, and make sure Hannah and Owen are doing okay, and I'm worried about the kids. I just-" 

"How are  _ you  _ doing, Jamie?" Dani cut in, and the momentum Jamie had built up while talking completely melted from her, and she leaned into Dani's touch. 

"I'm keepin' busy." Jamie admitted, shrugging. "I don't--I don't feel like I have the right to grieve. Hannah was Charlotte's best friend, Owen grew up with Dominic. Flora and Miles are their kid, Henry is Dominic's uncle and he was madly in love with Charlotte. I was just- I was the scallywag they took pity on."

"Did you love them?" Dani asked, and Jamie sniffed, staring at the stone building. 

"I did," 

"Then you can grieve, Jamie. What makes your grieving any less than theirs?" Dani said, and Jamie opened her mouth to reply, but Dani cut in. "The length of time you've known someone doesn't define how much you feel for them."

There was a weight behind those words, could knew it, and judging by the way Jamie was looking at her, Jamie did, too. 

"Yeah," Jamie hummed, voice gravely as she turned her head to Dani. "Yeah, no I get that."

"It's okay if this is how you grieve, but please don't feel like you  _ can't  _ grieve."

Jamie swallowed, nodded, then looked down, but Dani got a good enough look to see the tears in her eyes. 

"There's a huge park not far from here, in the town." Dani said, moving a little closer to the mausoleum, leaving Jamie standing there. "I'm thinking about asking Owen and Hannah if they want to go to town at the weekend, spend the day there with the kids."

"Yeah?" Jamie sniffed. 

"We'd need a driver, of course." Dani said, coyly, turning to see that little smile tug on Jamie's lips, and she wiped her face. 

"Ah, I see." Jamie's was full of bravado again. "I'm just a ride to you, huh?" 

"Amongst other things." Dani nodded, playful smile on her lips. "Come with us, Jamie?" 

Jamie looked unsure. "What day?" 

"Either or." 

Jamie nodded. "I'm in Manchester from Thursday to Saturday, but I can do Sunday."

"Okay, Sunday it is." Dani beamed, and even with tearful eyes, her smile was brilliant. 

"Sunday it is."

Jamie showed Dani around the area, then both of them quickly tended to a few of the flower beds before heading back inside for lunch. 

Dani walked Jamie to her car after dinner, as much as she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Jamie they both had jobs to do. Jamie had to be back in London to head to Manchester the following day, and Dani had children to teach.

"I'll see you Sunday?" Jamie lingered by her car, playing with her keys in a very un-Jamie-like way. She seemed nervous.

"Sunday," Dani promised, and before she could second guess herself she placed her hand over Jamie's fidgeting one, stopping Jamie dead. "Have a good time in Manchester, Jay."

Jamie stared down at their hands, and when she looked up at Dani, Dani  _ knew  _ they were on the same page, she  _ knew  _ Jamie felt the same. 

"Oh," Jamie murmured, and Dani knew something clicked with her then.

"What?"

"That's why you said if you could just stick it out with Eddie, I understand now why you feel as responsible as you do." Jamie said. "You shouldn't feel that way, but there is already an inherent sense of guilt, with people like us, right?" 

Dani nodded, was Jamie  _ just now  _ figuring out she was into women? No, they had had that talk the night Jamie stayed, there was no way Jamie didn't know. 

"And to tell someone that and for them to immediately just-" Jamie frowned, shaming her head. "Jesus, Dani. How are you still standin'? And still so… willing to take the plunge."

Dani blinked, surprised by the statement.

"I just--I've spent all of my life living for other people." Dani shrugged. "Being here, it has made me feel… brave, almost. Because I have people here who, I think, care about me." 

Jamie chuckled at Dani's uncertainty. 

"And when you have that, well, you can do anything, can't you? When you have people on your side."

"I think you're onta somethin', Poppins." 

Dani dropped Jamie's hand, allowing her to get into her car.

Dani waved her off before heading inside, stomach fluttering and her chest fuzzy. 

\--

Dani had seen Jamie in her suit, looking prim and proper like someone should working as the right hand man of a rich man, she'd seen Jamie in overalls and covered in dirt. 

But Dani had never seen  _ this  _ Jamie before. 

Dani was a little frazzled having wrangled the kids into their jackets while they were distracted by the cookies Owen had baked. 

She stumbled out the house after them, stopping dead when she spotted Jamie, leaning against the car as she laughed at something Hannah had said. 

She was dressed in a pair of tight fitting jeans, cuffed at the bottom with a pair of boots, scuffed and tattered. Her crew neck sweatshirt was a dark grey, her hair was pulled back lazily a few curly strands already having escaped the hair tie. 

How can this girl look good in every single thing she wears?

Then Jamie looked at her, her smile still big, but it softened into something else entirely, and Dani felt a pull in her chest that practically tugged her forward toward Jamie. 

"Ya alright, Poppins?" Jamie asked when she reached them. 

"Yup, yeah. Good." Dani nodded, cleaning her throat. She could feel the kids looking at her funny.

"Good," Jamie grinned, pushing herself off the car and opening the passenger side, giving a little dip and motioned inside. "Miss Clayton."

Dani rolled her eyes and playfully batted at Jamie's hand as she got inside, Jamie moving to the back doors. "Lady Flora, Lord Miles. Miss Grose. Owen."

Each of them got in the car in turn, each thanking Jamie, with the exception of Owen, who glared at her playfully. 

Dani settled in beside Jamie as they set off down the long driveway, the kids always occupying Owen and Hannah was talks about Vikings, the subject Dani was currently covering with them. 

"You doing okay, Dani?" Jamie asked. "You seemed a little off before."

"Yeah, no. I'm okay. I just-" Dani glanced toward the back. "You look really good, is all."

Jamie's eyebrows raised in surprise, and she looked down at herself. "I threw on what was clean," She said. "But I'm glad you think I look good in my civvies." 

Jamie glanced over at her, flashing her a little smile, and Dani honestly considered kissing her, but she didn't want their first kiss to be in front of everyone. 

Plus Jamie was driving. 

Jamie shooed Owen and Hannah away to have a few in the local pub, and to catch up with some friends, while Jamie and Dani sat on a park bench, watching the kids run around and make friends with the other kids, before disappearing into the huge pirate ship. 

"How's everything going?" Jamie asked. "At the manor?" 

"Good, I think I've settled in well, and the kids were--they were a little off the past two weeks. Miles has been acting out a lot, and Flora keeps wandering to the lake for some reason."

Jamie's eyes hardened. "Keep an eye on her, yeah? That lake's pretty but-" Jamie sighed, running her hand over her face. "Flora found Rebecca's body in that lake. I found Flora there, just staring at it." 

"Oh," Dani's eyebrows raised in surprise. "I'll keep an eye on her. Maybe with her parents just a week ago, she's just-" 

Dani shrugged, not really knowing where to go with that. 

"They're tough, they've kinda had ta be, but they aren't immune to all the shitty baggage that comes with a shitty childhood."

"So they need that constant," Dani murmured, more to herself than Jamie, but Jamie nodded anyway. 

"Yeah," Jamie breathed, drawing Dani's eyes to her to see Jamie staring right at her. "Yeah, that's exactly it."

"I know I've only been here four months but I love those kids, it's hard not to when you spend all your time with them." Dani said. "And they are incredibly charming."

"I know you do, I've seen how you are with them." Jamie turned her attention back to the pirate ship when she heard Flora's voice calling for them. 

Dani looked too, smiling when she spotted Flora and Miles at the top, waving and smiling. 

Jamie chuckled beside her as they both waved. "For the ones with lesser life experience, kids sure bounce back far easier."

"They've got thicker skin, they just keep going, like it hardly touches them. But that's the thing about life, isn't it? It's just cleaves and cleaves until you start to feel it. Until you can't  _ not  _ feel it."

"And it's hard, just to keep standing." Jamie said, with a little nod. "But if you've got someone there, someone solid to hold you down, ground you when you feel like you're slipping."

"Do you have that?" Dani asked. 

"I didn't for a long  _ long  _ time, but then I met the Wingrave's, and through them Owen and Hannah. The kids. Henry." Jamie side-eyed her, ghost of a smile on her lips. "You. So, yeah, I have that now."

Dani smiled at Jamie, that same fluttering in her stomach she'd been feeling since she met Jamie.

"Do you?" Jamie asked, eyebrow arched as she leaned toward Dani, her arm resting along the back of the bench, and Dani couldn't help but feel like they were in their own little bubble. "Have that?" 

"I didn't, as a kid, then I did when I met Eddie, but then I didn't when I realised I could never love him like he wanted me to." Dani shrugged. "Honestly, the kids, everyone here. Since I got here I've felt this sense of belonging that I've never felt before."

Jamie nodded. "I'm glad, because I know the kids love having you around, and you laugh at all of Owen's jokes, so he loves ya. And Hannah, she love you, you can tell by how she treats you."

Dani hummed, smiling and feeling fuzzy from the conformation that she did belong here. "And you?" 

"And me," Jamie hummed. "Well, a pretty face never hurt anyone."

Dani rolled her eyes, cheeks hot. 

"It also helps that you're kinda great, Clayton." Jamie shrugged easily, turning back to the kids, like she hadn't said anything at all. "I'm glad you're here."

The kids would have stayed there forever if Dani had allowed it, but finally left with the promise of ice cream, Jamie bumping Miles' nose with her ice cream, making home frown, and squint down at his nose while Flora laughed. 

Jamie was grinning a big grin, obviously proud of herself, and Dani could only stare with what was probably a love stricken smile. 

The kids crashed in the car in the short drive home, the car filled with a warm, comfortable silence other than the radio softly playing. 

Owen and Jamie lifted the kids to bed while Dani and Hannah headed to the kitchen. 

"She's good, you know?" Hannah commented as she made tea, Dani watching for pointers. 

"Who?" she asked, distracted by Hannah's tea making. 

"Jamie," the name seemed send a shock through Dani, her head snapping up to Hannah. "She's closed off, can be a little grumpy, but she's good."

Dani nodded, "I know."

Hannah nodded once, placing her hand over Dani's and gave it a squeeze. 

That squeeze - telling Dani that it was okay, that she was okay. She was accepted,  _ loved- _ -was more comfort than her mother ever gave her. 

Dani swallowed thickly, fighting back tears. "Thank you," She said tearfully. 

Hannah merely nodded, giving Dani a calming little smile before getting back to work. 

"Oh, thank god, at least we won't be poisoned." Jamie said when she spotted Hannah making the tea. 

"It isn't that bad," Dani scoffed. 

"Hey, you were bound to be bad at somethin'." Jamie said, eyeing Dani for a few seconds before glancing at Owen and Hannah, both in their own little world, before stepping into Dani's personal space, speaking quietly. "You alright?" 

"Yeah, yes. Sorry," Dani smiled, and Jamie gave her hand a little squeeze and, again, Dani was filled with this overwhelming feeling of being cared for, being loved. 

There was a lump in her throat again.

"I- uh, I just have to go make sure Flora's dollhouse doors are open, she won't be happy if she wakes up and they aren't." she said, but she knew Jamie knew better. 

But, of course, Jamie let her go, because Jamie knew she needed a few minutes to pull herself together. 

She did go to Flora's room, and she did end up having to open the doors, then she couched down beside her bed, smoothing hair out of the little girls face. 

And she stayed there, watching the young girl sleep peacefully, until there was the softest knock on the door, then it opened to Jamie, who immediately smiled upon seeing them.

"Wine or tea, Poppins?" 

"Wine, please." Dani said as she straightened, making her way over to Jamie. 

"Jolly good," Jamie slipped a hand to Dani's waist, then pulled her in for a hug. 

This was something they'd never done before, which, thinking about it, baffled Dani. 

"You're okay," Jamie murmured against the side of her head. 

"I'm okay," Dani repeated, and for the first time probably ever, Dani believed it could be true. 

\--

It was the end of October, and Dani had just gotten home with a bag full of Halloween decorations and two very excited kids raring to put them up. 

So she dropped the bags at the door and motioned to them while looking at the kids. "Have at it, but  _ as we discussed,  _ okay?" 

"Yes, Miss Clayton." both kids said, before grabbing a bag each and rushing off, Flora almost tripping over her bag, then both of them almost barreled into Jamie, who quickly skipped out of the way. 

"Easy there, Gremlins." She called back, before making her way closer to Dani, hands stuffed in the pockets of what Jamie called her casual suit pants, her soft green (most likely cashmere) sweater making her eyes look pretty, even in the low light that made its way into the reception area. 

"Hey," Dani smiled, accepting that hug that was apparently now something they did. "I didn't know you were stopping by today."

"Surprise," Jamie pulled back, taking a minute step away. "I actually came to steal you away."

Dani's eyebrows raised. "Oh, really?" 

"Mhm," Jamie nodded. "Hannah and Owen will keep an eye on the kids, not that they'll be bothering anyone until this place looked like a haunted house."

"Yeah, they were especially excitable today, and Flora kept looking at me, smiling, bouncing on her toes then running off."

"Mm," Jamie hummed, and Dani tilted her head. 

"What's going on?" she asked, "Are you guys up to something?"

"Us? Never," Jamie flashed that charming smile, and it had the desired effect on Dani, who melted immediately. "What'd ya say, Poppins? Have lunch with me, Owen's made us sandwiches, I know a lovely place we can eat, we'd need to take the truck, but it's only a minute or so's drive."

The thought of the kids crossed her mind for a brief second, but then she remembered that Hannah had cared for them for months before Dani showed up.

"Okay," 

Jamie's eyebrows raised the most minuscule amount, but Dani noticed it. "Yeah?" 

Dani nodded. "Yeah." 

"Well, I thought that'd take more convincing." Jamie said, back straightened, that crooked little smirk on her lips as she offered her bent elbow to Dani. "Well, Miss Clayton, everything is in the truck, all I needed was you."

Dani slipped her arm through Jamie's, hand flattening against her bicep, her heart hammering against her sternum at those words.

_All I needed was you._

Jamie led Dani outside, helping her up into the ground's Chevy truck. 

"You know," Jamie started, glancing over at Dani, and it took everything in Dani to Jamie not kiss her there and then. 

Here was this woman, so we'll put together yet still a little dishevelled, one hand on the wheel, the other on the gear stick, her head tilted up, messy hair almost a halo due to the sun behind her. And she had that pretty smile on her lips, the one where her tongue presses against the back of her teeth. 

"These grounds extend way past the garden, right into the forest, they own it. They have a group'a fellas to are essential park rangers, they use the forest as a national war of sorts, for nature walks and the likes." Jamie explained. "But there is one section they don't let  _ anyone  _ go, it's far too pretty to allow just anyone in there."

"Oh, I'm excited now." Dani smiled, sitting forward in the seat, peering out the window. 

And Jamie was right, the spot beyond anything Dani had experienced before. It was just by a small river, a waterfall somewhat obscured by the trees, but Dani could hear it. Jamie parked up at the clearing just at the river bend, the bed of the truck facing the river. 

Jamie glanced over at Dani, and Dani could see the hesitation in her eyes. 

"It's beautiful," Dani assured with a little smile. 

Jamie nodded, taking a breath before that bravado was back, and she was smiling and joking as she hopped out the truck, pointing warningly at Dani. "Stay put."

She said, and Dani could hear her messing around in the bed of the truck, but she figured if Jamie wanted her to wait she wouldn't want her looking, so she just stared into the treeline. 

The passenger door opened and there was Jamie, charmingly crooked grin, one arm outstretched to Dani, the other tucked behind her back. "Miss Clayton."

Dani rolled her eyes, but still giggled as she took Jamie's hand and stepped out. They were close, barely enough space between them to fit the flower Jamie had produced from behind her. 

A beautiful purple orchid.

"This little fella here represents rare and delicate beauty. It also showed masculinity in ancient Greece, but it's more feminine these days." Jamie explained, and Dani knew her cheeks were probably very visibly red, right to her ears, but she didn't care, smiling as she accepted the flower, brushing her fingers purposely against Jamie's. 

"Thank you, Jamie."

Jamie nodded, nudging her head toward the back of her truck, and Dani all but melted at the sighed of the blanket laid out in the back, food scattered over it, as well as a small box in the middle. 

"Little early to propose, Jamie." Dani teased, and Jamie just grinned, helping Dani up into the bed. 

"It's never too early, Poppins." She said, picking up the box and offering it to Dani. "Happy birthday, Clayton."

Dani blinked, her mind going blank, before it dawned on her. Yeah, October twenty second, it was her birthday. "Right, yeah." 

Jamie frowned, head tilted adorably, amused little smile on her lips. "Did you forget your own birthday?" 

"To be fair, I rarely celebrate it." Dani said quietly, still staring at the gift. "Jamie, you shouldn't have." 

"It's nothing big, Dani." Jamie said, placing the box in Dani's hands, lifting her knuckle to gently push Dani's chin until she was looking at her. 

Dani really wishes her eyes weren't filled with tears when she looked up at Jamie. 

"Hey," Jamie whispered, both hands one Dani's cheeks now, thumbs wiping away her tears. "I promise it's not that shit."

Dani laughed at the lame joke, then sniffed. "Sorry. Thank you, Jamie. This is really sweet."

"You're welcome, Dani." Jamie smiled. "You okay?" 

"Yes, yeah. Thank you." Dani nodded, and Jamie dropped her hands from her face, moving to pour them a glass of wine while Dani opened the box. 

It was a beautiful necklace, with a silver sunflower dangling from it, the middle what appeared to be diamond. 

"Jamie," She breathed, tentatively touching the pendent. 

"It's a sunflower, means new beginnings, among other things." Jamie explained. "I just thought it fit you really well."

"It's beautiful, Jamie. It must have cost so much money, I can't accept this." Dani tried to push the gift back toward Jamie but Jamie pushed right back. 

"You deserve to have people care for you enough to buy you gifts, Dani." Jamie said. "Please. I saw it before you told me when your birthday was, I was going to give you it for Christmas, or something. But I couldn't not get it for ya, it just reminded me too much of you."

Dani nodded slowly, taking the chain from the box and holding it out toward Jamie. "Put it on?" 

Dani turned when Jamie took the chain, pulling her hair up to allow Jamie to drape the chain around her neck. 

"You know, in the ancient Greeks believed sunflowers followed the sun because of the water nymph, Clytie's obsession apollo, the God of the Sun." Jamie said. "You see, they were in love but then apollo did what all great Gods do, let his eye wander, set sights on another Nymph. Clytie's was fuming, and jealous, so she told that other Nymph's father, who then burned his own daughter alive. So, Apollo turned her into a sunflower as punishment."

Jamie clipped the chain into place, running her knuckles down the back of Dani's neck, making Dani shiver. 

Dani had to hold back another shiver when Jamie spoke up again, her voice low, gruff. "They also symbolise adoration."

That was all Dani needed. 

She turned, first peering up at Jamie, who was on her knees behind her, before pushing herself up onto her knees, turning as she done so. 

She didn't even hesitate, her lips finding Jamie on the way up, and Jamie squeaked in surprise, which made Dani chuckled against her lips. 

"Shut it," Jamie shot back, diving right back in to kiss Dani. 

"Best birthday gift ever," Dani murmured, their foreheads touching. 

"I'm really glad you like it," Jamie said, tentatively touching the necklace. 

"Not the necklace, but I do love that. I'm talking about this--that kiss." Dani let her palm flatten against Jamie's chest. 

"I have been told I'm a pretty great kisser." Jamie laughed when Dani softly batted her shoulder. "I didn't do this to get you to kiss me or whatever."

"I know. I've wanted to do that since probably that day in Henry's office." Dani admitted. 

"Convenient, 'cause I did, too."

They ate their sandwiches, then they reclined back on the blanket, enjoying the quiet of being out in the middle of nowhere, the only sound reaching their ears were the sound of the waterfall and the wildlife. 

Dani was feeling bold, energizesed, so she let her hand slip into Jamie's as they laid there and chatted. 

"Will you tell me what all the flowers that you've given me mean?" Dani asked. 

"Sure, yeah. I don't know if can I remember all the flowers I've given you, but-" 

"I've still got them," 

Jamie frowned, her head falling to the side to look at Dani. "How? Even I'm not that good."

"I've pressed them, I keep them all in a notebook." Dani shrugged, her cheeks starting to feel hot. "I suppose I write little things beside them."

Jamie beamed at that, leaning over to kiss Dani soundly on the lips. "You're really fuckin' cute, Poppins."

Dani giggled against Jamie's lips before pressing in again. 

They finally made it back to the manor just before dinner, Jamie's hand tightly wrapped around hers, pulling her toward the kitchen, even though Dani made her way for the stairs. 

"Don't ask questions, Clayton." Jamie ordered, pulling her along. 

Dani almost jumped out of her skin when they entered the kitchen and suddenly ' _ Surprise!'  _ was yelled at them. 

When she recovered from her fright she noticed the cake and party food on the table, and the banners and birthday decorations. 

And Dani was crying, because of course she was, she'd never had anyone throw her a party before, even one this small. 

"Happy birthday, Miss Clayton." Miles said as he and Flora offered her hand made birthday cards; Miles with the words happy birthday written in bubble writing and Flora's with a drawing of all six of them, Dani in the middle with a crown on. 

"Thank you, guys." Dani sniffed, pulling both kids in for a hug. 

She them made her way to Hannah and Owen, giving both of them a hug and a thank you, almost tearing up all over again when they handed her small gifts; Owen getting her some sort of pamper set and a hand made voucher for him to look after the kids while she pampered herself, and Hannah getting her a thick wool sweater for the winter (Dani had told her she didn't really have any warm clothes). 

They ate, and joked, and had cake, before heading to the living room, the kids excited to stay up past their bedtimes, but crashed just after nine, leaving the adults to drink their wine and chat. 

Owen and Hannah headed to bed just after one, Owen with a sleepy kiss to both Jamie and Dani's heads, Hannah giving each a squeeze before disappearing. 

"Was this your doing?" Dani asked when they were alone. "The party?" 

"I just mentioned it was your birthday, no one knew, apparently not even the birthday girl. They all played a part in it, because every single one of them love you." Jamie said, the arm on the back of the sofa wrapping around Dani's shoulders and pulling her against her. "Did you have a nice day?"

Dani nodded against Jamie's chest. "By far the best birthday I've had."

Jamie kissed the top of her head, holding her tight. "Plenty more where this came from, Poppins."

And, oh boy, was Jamie right about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think?
> 
> Thatoneloser-kid.Tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I might make this a multi-chapter thing if you guys like it!
> 
> Thatoneloser-kid.Tumblr.com


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